Sunday, December 4, 2016

It's Fine Until It's Not


So just to make everyone is up to speed, I'm a college student. We're coming up on Christmas so that means we're also coming up on the end of the semester. So it stands to reason that I'm stressed out. The problem is I never really learned how to deal with that.

I just stuff it down in an attempt to forget about it. The problem with that strategy is that of course it never really goes away. At this point I have varying physical manifestations of the stress. 

It started at 18 with psoriasis. I have various spots of skin that look red and irritated that flakes. THey get worse when the stress amps up. When I quit my job last year it got better but didn't go away. Now I'm getting them on my forehead, not cool.

Sometimes I have gastrointestinal distress. No need to elaborate on that further.

The newest thing is hives. Weird itchy bumps on my skin. My new best friend is Benadryl cream. it was a few here and there at first but today I noticed my whole shoulder is covered in them. This is why I'm writing about this. 

Growing up I was told that I had to be strong and strong women don't complain. I'm not sure if all that was expressed in words or just inferred, don't complain; complaining is a weakness. So I did what I thought I had to do; I stuffed all the wrongs and hurts and injustices into a little ball and put them away for later.

Except later never came.

Mainly because no one ever said what to with it later. So it adds up. At this point there is 36 years of stress bottled up inside. Well maybe not that much. I'm sure I've gotten over some stuff. 

The problem is all the things people say to do to destress hasn't worked. I've talked about this before with my wife but I'm not sure she knows how to help me. 

So I'm writing about it. Hoping it will help. Maybe tomorrow I'll talk about my impending speech, or impending Calculus final. AHHHHH!   

No comments:

Post a Comment